“Flavor win!”

Patriarch of House Darwin-Ihaya, Jack used to spend fun-filled research days in Kenya digging through hyena feces before settling down for the evening to play a game of Settlers of Catan or a bizarre German game called Zug um Zug.

He loves games with a strong theme and can sometimes go a bit overboard when emotionally invested in a game.

He has never been beaten in Libertalia.

Favorite games: Star Trek Attack Wing, Game of Thrones LCG, Magic: the Gathering


“Gamer sense… tingling.”

After training for 10 years at an isolated Buddhist temple next to the Taco Bell down the street, George has perfected the art of the condescending smirk. His Five Point Smile Exploding Rage Quit technique has become famous around the world and sent many at the table reeling from its effects.

When he’s not training new students in his mystical ways, he studies Biology at CSU San Bernardino in case anyone wants to stalk him. He also carves a mean wooden cock.

Favorite games: Dune/Rex, Escape: The Curse of the Temple, Battlestar Galactica


“Guys, this game IS AWESOME!”

Brandon showed up mysteriously from a land Down Under (that’s where New Jersey is, right?) with nothing but his luxurious blonde hair to shield him from the cold. Also clothes. We’re pretty sure he was wearing clothes.

Despite his always cheerful demeanor, Brandon is a wild card. You never know if he’s about to attack your enemy with a 90/90 lifelink creature or smash your face in with a hammer.

Good guy.

Favorite games: Pathfinder RPG, 13 Dead End Drive, Arkham Horror


“I’m bored.”

Hana Snackborn of House Darwin-Ihaya, First of Her Name, Designer of Websites, and Mother of Cats married a savage foreigner to rebel against her royal line. Also, she’s a zombie. Maybe we should have led with that part. We try to keep her entertained as much as possible to prevent neglect that reverts her to zombie form. More than one game night has ended with us running for our lives as she eats the living flesh off human victims.

She also bakes a mean birthday cake.

Favorite games: Game of Thrones LCG, Dead of Winter, Heroes Wanted


The source of all our games, the Box is some kind of quasi-mystical portal to… everything? That’s the best I can describe it. It just showed up at our door one day. It can bring forth from its depths unfathomable anything that ever can or will exist. But mostly it just gives us board games.

It’s kind of a dick like that.


“I’m below the Box? Really?” *sigh*

Mat is a Spike, through and through. He loves winning and is pretty damn good at it. He once won a game he had never played before against two people who had on the very first turn. Know how we know that? It’s the first story he tells every new person he meets.

Mat’s primary game is Magic: the Gathering, as it allows him the most efficient way to skullfuck his innocent opponents until they cry.

We once tried to get him into EDH, the less competitive, more fun, multiplayer focused version of Magic.

We no longer speak of what happened.

Because we have no tongues. He took our TONGUES.

Favorite games: Magic: The Gathering, Poker, Star Wars: CCG


“Which of us has the least influence?”

Childhood friends of Jack and George, Sean is married with children but still finds time to game and shoot videos with us whenever we need him.

He has a brilliant strategic mind and if used for good, could have brought the world into a new age of enlightenment. Instead, he sold out and went to business school to rake in the big bucks.

But we don’t mind, because he always shows up with booze. And whatever happens after we all black out, well that’s just part of being a good friend.

Favorite games: Android: Netrunner, Risk: Legacy, Thunderstone: Advance



Maya is a baby. She’s basically a prop.

Favorite games: Pink ball, Papa’s iPhone, Hide Mama’s keys